3 posts tagged “guys”

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dreary, deary.

Feb 6, 2008
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    Sleep texting is a habit getting quite out of control; last night I sent this text to Blakely - nonsensical and nearly in cryptics : "tthe grass isa lways, grren where you .wa lk. c'mnm and stand by me," . Ridiculous. I shouldn't sleep with my phone in my bed another night. I awoke to an email on my phone from him this morning, apologizing for actions that he shouldn't feel sorry about and telling me that he finds me 'refreshingly real and cinematic'. He's a good kid, but he worries too much. Oh, there's a funny joke, me telling someone they worry too much. Ha. Ha.
    I feel alive and happy today in ways that would do my horoscope proud. I'm going to see Band of Horses tonight with Robster Lobster and his girl. Living, Living. Let's go.

    Twenty more days until Christopher is here again. I'm so ready.

forget about your house of cards;

Jan 12, 2008
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Mister Christopher and Self

what a week. what a fucking week.

I started school Monday. My very first semester of college. It's such a weird feeling, going back after not being in school for two years. The feeling isn't uncomfortable exactly, maybe I just feel vulnerable. I'm not entirely sure. I feel alone in ways that I haven't in a very long time. Lonely at school is one small thing, but Mister Christopher left Wednesday. . .I barely kept it together. I slept on the ride to the airport, I didn't want to face it. I feel bad about not taking advantage of that time with him, but I didn't want to risk freaking out. I felt like I was in a tunnel the entire time we were at the airport, there was an aching build up and I almost lost it when he hugged me goodbye. I didn't want to let go. I didn't want to watch him walk away. I didn't want to let him go beyond that barrier, that invisible wall, at airports just past security. I held it together until that point, when I knew I couldn't walk up and hug him one more time. I'm glad Cindy was there. I cried on her, but continued to force it all back the best that I could. We waited until he was gone. Off the ground. I had the biggest coffee that I could find and downed it too fast, like it would make it all go away. It didn't, but it put me in a state to be around other people. I couldn't even sleep alone that night, so Cindy slept with me. I'm pathetic, I know. I didn't really freak out until school yesterday. He's gone. . . fuck. Then again at work. Really gone. . . fuck.He does seem happy to be back in Portland, so at least there is that. . .I was invited by some kids at school to go to a movie and have some booze tomorrow night. I'm going to take them up on their offer. I need to distract myself before I go mad. I fell back into my morning routine today, and it made me feel heavy. I had tea, listened to the new Radiohead, ate some cereal [Orangutan O's style. . . . .: / ] and started a new book. The weather is amazing outside. Amazing. I'm going to wear a shirt that isn't mine and leggings and go out to play.

what's a girl to do?

Nov 19, 2007
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Desperately seeking a small change in myself, I
colored a chunk of my hair blond and turquoise.
I find it refreshing and fun.

New Hair.

So it's official that the holiday season is approaching. We've started playing Christmas music at work and setting up winter themed displays and signage. Everyone seems to be pepping up but I can't seem to get into the spirit of it all. My feelings for the end of the year are clouded by so many uncertain factors. Of course, that isn't to keep me from indulging in a few holiday-exclusive treasures, namely the Starbucks Peppermint Mocha. Yummy. Maybe it's just too early? We'll see.

Life is so funny to me sometimes, in a "I wonder if there is such thing as coincidence" sort of way. A few weeks ago my friend, Robbie, gave me the Bat for Lashes record [Fur and Gold] when I asked him to give me some new music. After rolling it around in my car and on my computer [and totally falling in love with it] I found something familiar in the song "What's a Girl to Do" and it turns out that Mister Christopher had actually sent me a youtube link to the music video for that song [very eerie, so good] a little while before. Hold that thought. Still in search of new music I picked up a Kenna record [Make Sure They See My Face] Saturday after choosing to play it at work and being really into it. I haven't had time to do any real research on either of the artists, still letting them grow on me. Last night at work a guy who I knew was vaguely familiar to me came over to the music department while Kenna was playing and asked me if I'd chosen that record to play. I had. After talking about the record for a while we remembered how we knew each other. He'd visited Barnes and Noble about a month before and he and I had a pretty interesting conversation about comic books. He hung around and talked to me for a while, and we formally introduced ourselves. His name is Eric. He left and I continued about work. Not even five minutes later he returned and said that while we were on the subject of music had I ever heard of a band called Bat for Lashes. I laughed and asked him if he'd been spying on me. He laughed when I explained my the odd series of 'coincidences'. He then told me he'd be back to find me when he made more interesting music and comic book discoveries and continued to say that I was charming and adorable - which made me blush like a little girl.

I suppose I just find it odd how things come together like that.